….when I turn on the stove, open the refrigerator, or turn on the lights or tv, I say a little prayer of gratitude. I am overwhelmed by the damage done by Sandy and my heart goes out to all those who have lost so much. So many more prayers are being said for folks up and down the East Coast. And many more thanks to all the officials who have been so present and caring.
I realized sometime in mid summer that I was going through a personal storm in the form of depression. Within the past year a very dear family member was admitted into a nursing home after a brain injury. An older member of the family, it has been difficult to observe his slow fade. It made me think about my mother when she became ill, watching her slow decline and eventual passing. And, of course, these situations make me think of my own mortality and the possible events leading to that final earthly event.
I’ve lost my parents, siblings, dear aunts and uncles. My sons are grown up with lives of there own. The hustle and bustle of family life is a lot quieter now..in fits and starts during brief visits instead of the daily business of life. I can’t help but question what happens next and felt with so much behind me there was little in front of me.
As if in answer to that nagging question “what if…or when?” or “what happens after” that has plagued me for the past year, I catch interviews on “Katie” with folks who have had near death experiences. While listening to their experiences on both sides of life, I felt a sense of calm wash over me and I felt the words, “It will be okay”. Wow.
To sum up, what had been a difficult year emotionally, I am now feeling at peace and a renewed sense of energy. Instead of this past year’s feeling of “why bother?”, I am looking forward to the holidays and celebrating with family and friends who have become family, and daily life in general. I am now back in the studio and feeling the joy of creation.